Panda Hat
Plot Red got bar in a drunk and made a birthday party by him own self! Whooooooooooo! Dick Figures was created by Ed Skudder, who wrote, directed and voiced the episode along with Zack Keller. Transcript ' (At a bar, Red chugs a bottle of beer while on top of a table. Blue walks up.)'' Blue: ♪Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday from Blue!♪ Aaand you're drunk. Red: (breathes in deeply, then leans forward quickly, breaking a few bottles beside him.) Blue! Blue: How's the, uh, birthday? Red: (drunk) You're not even (mumbles) with a panda hat. Blue: Oh, yeah? Cool... Red: (drunk, he goes down the table, stands back up, and embraces Blue.) Heh-hey, Blue. Blue: What? Red: Blue! Blue. What? Red: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlue... Blue: What? Red: BuhBuhBlue-eh. Blue: What?! Red: Listen. Blue: WHAT?! Red: (deep voice) Listen! ' (drunk) I love you! I wanna...let's...let's grow old together in every way! (deep voice, background starts to blaze.) EVERY WAY! (The background goes back to normal.) Blue: (trying to leave Red) 'Kay... (Disco ball drops down next to Red and Red starts to dance.) Red: Dance party fo Red! (Red crashes into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Red gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears.) Red: Yeah! Hey, ladies! (Runs off.) Blue: Eh, fack! Red: (sprints up to a woman) Hey, baby, knock knock, who's there, sex, sex who, sex with me, BOOM! (black sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of his eyes and he strikes a pose.) Woman: Aw, that's so romantic! Call me-- Red: Whatever! (Walks away.) Blue: Oh, my God, dude, what happened? Red: I know, right! What a piyaaaammp! (Clip quickly rewinds to when Red spoke to the woman.) Red: (drunk) Hey, blehblehbloobleblebloohehehe! Knock knock. (The woman angrily breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Red ends up having a broken bottle on his head.) Blue: Wow, dude, you're really drunk. (Removes the broken bottle on Red's head. Blood is visible on the tips.) I gotta get you home. Red: (drunk) YEAH, RIGHT! I'm fine. I ain't never puked from throwin' up! Blue: You mean drinking? Red: (breathes in) (low voice): Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! (Walks off.) Blue: Red! (groans) Lady: (groans) Men are such pigs. Raccoon: I can go all night-a, baby. I'm-a nocturnal. (Growls seductively.) (Time lapse. Red talks to his reflection in a mirror.) Red: (drunk) You don't know meh! (Time lapse. Red talks to himself. The bartender observes him.) Red: (drunk) Is this real life? Now? (Time lapse. Red is lying on the floor.) Red: (drunk) My eyes are puzzle pieces! (Time lapse. Red seems to be talking to someone.) Red: (drunk) Let's grow old together in every way! Except for the gay way! (Camera zooms out, showing that Red is talking to a toilet. He dunks his head in the bowl and flushes.) Blue: It's time to go, dude. You're making out with that toilet pretty hard. (Red pulls out his head from the toilet.) Red: Your mom's making out with a lamppost! YEAH! H-hey...you leave her outta this! Red: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... (his stomach becomes wavy) Blue: No! Red: Urrruuuuugh! Blue: Noooooooooo! (Video slows down, deepening everybody's voice.) Blue: Noooooooooooooo! Red: IT'S MY TIME! Blue: Are you kidding me?! Red: Yeee-''(Video speed is back to normal. Red begins vomiting on Blue.)'' Blue: NOOOO- oooohhhhh...... THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?! Red: I DON'T KNOW! (Continues to vomit on Blue. Eventually, Blue lies down.) You don't know where I've been- (Red vomits on Blue once more.) Blue: I hate you! (Red laughs.) I hate you sooo mu--! -Episode ends- Trivia/Goofs * Red tells a knock-knock joke to a woman, but his hat is missing. * The episode is named from the part where Red says "...With the panda hat." * Red might have said "SPARTA!" right before Blue replies, "Are you kidding me?" * This is the first episode where Red doesn't talk in Auto-Tune at all. * It is revealed that Red may have a drinking problem. * The bonus track on the season 1 soundtrack album, "Yo Butt", plays in the background as the bar music. It is later heard in OMG and Fang Angels. * The purple woman is the first female character not to wear a skirt, though this might've been an animation error. * This is the first episode where Red uses his demonic voice. * This is one of the only episodes where the words "shit" and "fuck" are not used, although Blue says, "Fack". Continuity *On the bathroom stall, Red wrote graffiti that says: "Make that ass crap " which is what Racoon said in A Bee or Something. But it said "-R" which meant it could have been Red or Raccoon. **There was another graffiti in Kitty Amazing with the same signature. Recurring Gags Auto-Tune Use The bar song in the background. Red Floating Red floats when he says "H-Hey!" Episode Ending The word DICK FIGURES appears with the I's replaced by two goblets filled with wine. The Last Line Being Cut When Blue says "much". 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